Alumna Profile: McKenzie Barber – COVID-19: A First-Person Account

McKenzie Barber (AYF 2014-15) studied German and Physics at the University of Michigan. She now works as a Registered Nurse in Michigan and reports on her personal experiences caring for patients during the COVID-19 pandemic. 

A photo taken on the day McKenzie accepted her first nursing job.

For the past two-ish weeks, my unit has been designated as a covid-19 unit, where we only take care of people who are positive/being tested for the virus.

We get only one mask per shift, one gown per patient per shift, and one face shield indefinitely until we can’t use it anymore. Standard PPE use rules are out the window. Even still, this is more than some of the other hospitals in the area have, so I feel… lucky?

No, I don’t think that’s what I feel, really. I feel gross. Reusing gowns and trying not to get the “used” i.e. contaminated side all over myself as I put it back on over my body and my face is not how things are supposed to be.

Staff can come to work even if they are positive for the corona virus, by the way. As long as they aren’t symptomatic – not that being symptomatic determines whether or not they are contagious. But I guess at some point we would have no staff if everybody had to be quarantined for 14 days.

Nurses have absorbed several other roles, which means we have to do more for each patient than we normally would. So in addition to all the time it takes to don/doff our PPE, we have more tasks to complete. We don’t have techs to help with taking vitals, taking blood sugars, assisting to the bathroom, aiding with hygiene, etc. We don’t have phlebotomists to draw labs. There are a lot of things we don’t have right now. We do have “runners” to grab things for us if we need something we don’t have once we’ve already entered a room, like an extra blanket or a cup of water. So that’s nice.

This virus is affecting each person differently, but it’s affecting many people more strongly than we were initially led to believe. Otherwise healthy people are being intubated. People who exercise, run marathons, or have no prior health concerns are being intubated. Young people are being intubated. Last I heard, my hospital had used its last ventilator… And at this point, very few people are being weaned off the vents… So I don’t know what the plan is now.

I have patients who are feeling scared, alone, and trapped. Patients who have lost friends to this virus already. Patients with family members who (also) aren’t doing well. But they are isolated. No visitors are allowed on covid floors. So if somebody’s health is declining or if they are having a panic attack, that’s too bad. Normally the nurses and techs could at least try to provide emotional support, but even that is hard right now when we are supposed to enter the rooms as infrequently as possible, and I’m afraid to even give my patients a small hug. So I hold their hand or rub their arm and tell them that I am here.

I am also anxious and nervous myself, but we’re all kinda alone right now. I can’t go over to my mom’s house. I can’t see my best friend who has been living in China for the past year, even though she is 5 miles away from me. I can’t really see anybody outside of work. I am very thankful for my coworkers, though. They are amazing, and we’re all working through this uncertainty together.

One positive is that I get to see Chris every day now, because he’s working from home and we can’t very well isolate from each other in a one room apartment. His boss had him start working from home even before the state ordered it, because he knew the risks due to my job.

Overall, things are crazy. I’m nervous. I’m tired (I just woke up after sleeping for 22 hours… for real). I want to stay home, but I can’t. I’m ready for this to be over.

Please stay safe during this time. I don’t want to see any of you as my patient, and I certainly don’t want to send you over to the ICU on a ventilator.

P.S. If you have any extra masks, gowns, or anything else you think might help (or food), most hospitals are accepting donations.